Airport
by iwillcontinuetodraw
Summary: What could possibly have convinced Tsuna to get three helicopters? Expansion of the omake in "Fangirl Diaries" by ImJustNutty. Rating changed because of Squalo : D18 in the last chapter. Story set 5 years in the future.
1. Animals

**Haha wow I'm writing a Humor fic~!Unbelievable~**

**Disclaimers: Characters and storyline copyright Amano Akira, some ideas from Apples-ForDessert and ImJustNutty, as well as Eclaire****é**

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Hibari barely made it to the airport check-in point.

"Sir-" Passing through the 'Nothing to Declare' gate, an officer stepped out from behind the machines-"No live animals are allowed without declaration."

Hibari glanced at the short man. Hibird twittered from his perch on his shoulder. Hibari walked on.

"Sir, I must insist- Sir! Please surrender your chicken for declaration!"

Hibari stopped dead in his tracks.

"Chicken..?" He slowly turned.

"I'll bite you to death, _insect_."

"HELP! AIDER! AIDER! ATTAQUE-"

A sudden silence. Hibird whistled happily.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~"

A smilingly polite checkpoint officer stepped up to Hibari, whose passage through the metal-detecting arch had set off the whirling red light. In the queue behind, people peered curiously over, but not with much interest- probably just a belt buckle.

"Sir-" He waved at Hibari's cloak. "We have to check that. Have you forgotten to check in something?"

A lady stepped over, holding a handheld metal detector with a smile.

"Touch me with that, woman, and you'll _forget _to breathe forever."

Her smile faded slightly, but still held on. She'd taken courses regarding this.

"I'm sorry sir, please calm down. We're only checking for metallic objects. This is to ensure the safety-"

"You don't need to check them." Hibari pulled out his tonfas. "I promise."

The tonfas glinted evilly.

"P-please put them down, sir!" This kind of situation wasn't in her courses.

"_I'll bite you all to death-_"

"Ne, ne, Kyouya!" someone said happily.

Dino approached from behind. He smiled apologetically at the terrified lady.

"Haha, sorry, this is my rather impolite son-"

"_Son?_" Hibari hissed.

"Yup!" Dino reached out and messed up Hibari's hair. "He loves toys like these- I keep telling him not to bring them around, but, haha, passion of the youth!" He smiled at the officer, who nodded with relief.

"Now, Kyouya, you can't bring your tonfas onboard like that, ne? Listen to the officer-" He reached into his fur jacket- "Or Enzo will bite you!"

Hibari and the officer both stared at the wizened turtle.

"Sir, live animals must be checked in separately. Would you like to hand him to us? We'll ensure that he'll have a safe journey to your destination."

"See, Kyouya, you must listen to the officer- like papa!" He said, happily handing over a rather confused Enzo to the checkpoint officer, who promptly put him into a cart especially prepared for transporting turtles in planes, a specially made _aquarium_.

"Hey wait, stop!"

Too late.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Tsuna was not amused when a letter arrived informing him of a ninety million euros debt to the Charles de Gaulle airport, due to, as it stated, "an invasion by a godzillian turtle causing devastating damage to at least four terminals led by an Italian man, Dino Chiavorone, as well as severe injury to several members of staff and passengers by a Japanese youth, Hibari Kyouya, both of whom are under the ward of Sawada Tsunayoshi."

**To be continued~**

**By the way, what IS hibird?**


	2. Appearances

**Oh **_**dear **_**that last chapter was a total fiasco D**

**I hope I don't screw this one up as well :D It's hard to write people InCharacter when TYL is not a very funny period TT_TT**

**Writing humorous stuff is not good for my health… *fades away***

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

After Tsuna very very specifically warned Squalo NOT to bring his sword to the airplane _on pain of death_, an irate Squalo set off for Japan.

"Damn the boss."

"Mu."

"Stop making that fucking disgusting noise!"

"Mu." The indigo arcobaleno stared up insolently.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIII!"

"Erm, sir? Your passport?"

Squalo slammed his on the counter and glared at Marmon.

"What."

"WHERE'S YOUR PASSPORT, DAMMIT!"

"Uh…" the arcobaleno fumbled in his bag and produced a properly worn passport and handed it to Squalo, who passed it to the unfortunate counter lady.

It disappeared the moment she handed it back.

"Thank you sir. Do you want the children's meal?"

"I'm SORRY?!"

"For your son, sir. We have strawberry ice cream for dessert." She smiled at the illusionist.

Squalo had difficulty dragging a spitting and hissing Marmon away.

In compliance with Tsuna's half-an-hour long lecture on the proper etiquettes of passing through airport checkpoints, Squalo had rid himself of the long blade attached to his fake hand and now looked much less intimidating. His mannerisms haven't changed much, though.

He, and Marmon perched on his shoulder, got past the checkpoint despite strange looks.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Squalo leaned forwards in his cramped seat and started fiddling with the magazine holder.

_Fucking start flying already._

An air stewardess clip-clopped her way towards them. Looking over, she smiled at the "little boy".

"I'm sorry madame, you need to get a baby's seatbelt for him."

"…Ma'am?"

Squalo's head snapped up.

"DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE A GIRL TO YOU, YOU BITCH?!"

"I-I'm sorry sir, I-" she choked as Marmon's purple tentacles groped around her throat.

"_Die,_" Both of them said together.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

When the pair stamped their way into the Vongola Headquarters, the Famiglia was at the gates waiting.

"Squalo!" Yamamoto greeted him. Tsuna smiled at the towering (swords)man.

"I'm glad you made it here without much trouble! Thank you!"

Squalo and Marmon each smiled evilly. They'd be long gone before the airport sent their greetings to Tsuna.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**I'm glad you made it here too~! I love Squalo's hair ~! Haha not really, but it's pretty ^^**


	3. Habits

**Haha thank you reviewers But I'm very, very sorry I can't put Mukuro in an airport… At least not alone... It'd be extremely interesting but I don't think Tsuna will appreciate it at all :D Please spare a thought for our dearest, kawaii Decimo- AHM. *dusts off fangirl sparkles*.**

**And I think this story's ending after the next chapter ^^ Credits to Eclairee, again :)**

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Tsuna didn't know why he allowed it, but Gokudera really, really was the best man for the job. It was either Hibari or Gokudera (those two _were _the most mature right now, and that was a very scary thought), and Hibari… Hibari was _not_ going _anywhere _near an airport again.

_Well,_ Tsuna thought. _It'll probably be better if Yamamoto went along with him._

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"I thought Juudaime said NOT to bring your stupid sword, Yamamoto?!" Gokudera wasn't in a good mood. Count on them to get lost in the Narita airport.

"Haha, but it's in its bat form so no one will notice! I didn't bring Shigure Kintoki, of course!"

"They won't let you bring a _bat _on the plane, anyway!"

"Why not? It's not sharp or anything, is it!"

Gokudera threw him a dirty look.

"We'd better FIND the place to board the plane first before we think of anything else."

"Okay, let's split up and look, ne?"

Gokudera shuddered at the thought of the baseball idiot getting lost alone in the airport.

"_No, _idiot. You're staying here with the luggage. _I'll_ go look for the bloody terminal."

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Gokudera looked down from the second level into the atrium. Yamamoto was (oh no not again) being big-brotherly to a random little boy.

"OI IDIOT!" He yelled. "OVER HERE!"

Yamamoto looked up.

"Ah! You found it!" He stood. "Hey," He said to the little boy. "I'll show you something _really _cool!"

Yamamoto grasped the handle of a suitcase in one hand and hefted his baseball bat with the other.

Gokudera had a horrible premonition. "Wait, no-"

"ATTACIO DI RONDINE!"

The baseballer threw the luggage in the air and smashed his bat into it with all the power of the famed swordsman, sending the luggage flying, flying…

CRASH.

The black suitcase flew past a petrified Gokudera into the glass ceiling, the force shattering the reinforced glass, sending it flying into the sunshine outside.

There was a stunned silence as glass shards rained down on the floor.

A scream.

"DON'T FUCKING USE YOUR SWORD TECHNIQUES ON A SUITCASE, DAMMIT!"

"Ahaha, so sorry!"

A security guard walked over and tapped Yamamoto on the shoulder, looking nervous.

"Sir, please come with me."

He looked up and considered Gokudera.

"You too, sir."

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

After a full-body check, the guards have come up with nothing worse than the baseball bat in Yamamoto's possession. Gokudera, however, was an entirely different matter.

"We have to confiscate this, Mr. Yamamoto. Please understand."

"Ahaha, if you have to!" Yamamoto leaned back in the chair. "Sorry for the accident," he smiled ruefully.

The guard returned him a strained smile.

His smile faded when he turned to Gokudera.

"As for you, sir, please hand over the explosives you currently possess. All of them."

"Are you telling me you want me to give you my dynamites?" Gokudera snarled, his patience at its lowest and irritation at a peak.

"Yes."

Gokudera jumped up from the chair with a murderous look.

"ROCKET BOMB!"

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**AHH sorry it ended so lamely I figured before anyone died Gokudera and Yamamoto weren't so serious yet… And since the Shigure Kintoki didn't synchronise with the Rain flame Yamamoto won't have brought it!**

**Review!**


	4. The Last Straw

**Lol, sorry for the last chapter. Remind me never to write at 2 in the morning again. As demanded by Eclairee , I am to include DinoHiba in the story, so prepare for non-explicit (I hope) yaoi! :D Airport will be ending here~ Thank you for all the reviews!**

**P.S. Please review. I enjoy flames.**

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Tsuna buried his head in his hands.

_No._

_No, Reborn. No._

_I've already said Hibari and Dino are getting nowhere near an airport again, Reborn. _

But no matter how many protests he makes, Reborn always had his favorite rebuke.

"You're the Decimo, Tsuna. Can't you even look after your own guardians?"

And that was how Tsuna ended up at the airport with all six of his guardians, Dino, as well as Reborn.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Wisely, Tsuna decided to handle the passport checking-in by himself.

He'd collected everyone's passports without much hassle, except for a moment of panic when Hibari went "I threw away my passport," but it was alright because Dino had recovered it.

Now he stood in front of Mukuro, who held out Chrome's passport.

"Y-you don't look like her, Mukuro-san."

He smiled, and within a heartbeat Chrome Dokuro stood in front of Tsuna. He sighed.

"Mukuro sama says you're the biggest worrywart he's ever met," Chrome dutifully reported.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

When the metal detector rang a few aisles down, Tsuna winced.

When it rang again, and again, three times in a row, Tsuna looked over.

Ryouhei, now deprived of his jacket and shirt, walked though it once again.

The alarmed wailed for the fourth time.

"I'm sorry, sir, please remove your pants."

"WOAH, but I'm EXTREMELY not wearing any boxers!" Ryouhei bellowed at his unfortunate audience.

There was an uncomfortable silence, in which Tsuna face-palmed repeatedly.

"Ahaha, I was told that when I was EXTREMELY young, I kept swallowing stuff! It may be those metal figurines I swallowed! EXTREME, huh?!" He grinned, patting his stomach.

In the silence, the poor stewardess could be heard saying, "In that case, p-please put on your clothes, sir."

Tsuna barely had time to be relieved before Chrome stepped up to the checkpoint in front of him.

"Your..uh… trident, miss."

Chrome clutched the trident tightly.

"What trident?"

"C-Chrome…"

The burly man lost his patience and found his way around the counter.

"Hand over the trident, miss. No sharp objects allowed onboard- _ouch!_"

Tsuna stared. The trident had sliced the man's arm. Mukuro instead of Chrome stood smiling as his right eye dripped blood.

The burly security's face contorted in a strange smile.

"Kufufufufufu…you aren't touching my kawaii Chrome, big man."

"Mu-Mukuro! Stop it!"

He dropped his smile and rolled his eyes at Tsuna.

"You're no fun, Tsunayoshi." He stuck his tongue out at him. "But since it's Decimo's order…" He sighed.

The smiled disappeared from the man's face as Mukuro turned back to Chrome. The dazed man waved Chrome on, trident and all.

"Don't hold up the queue, dame Tsuna," Reborn quipped from his shoulder.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Tsuna went still.

It's been two hours since they took off, and everyone had settled down somewhat- the lights were dimmed, and the passengers were dropping off to sleep one by one. The aircraft was silent except for the whirring of the engines… and the strange sounds Tsuna was beginning to hear from the back of his row of seats.

He wondered if it was Ryouhei- but no, he's on the other aisle, fast asleep, thank goodness. Lambo, beside him, was also mercifully sleeping after nearly electrocuting (oh wait. That's not very possible, is it) himself by poking a finger into a mysterious switch.

Chrome was looking out of the window into the quiet night. Gokudera and Reborn, on either side of Tsuna, were sleeping too. Tsuna smiled briefly at the sight of his right hand man catching a short nap. He'd no doubt be awake again soon. Yamamoto, in the seat in front of him, was reading.

Wait- that left…

With a sense of impending doom, Tsuna soundlessly turned to the gap between the seats and peered into the crack.

He froze.

Dino, his soft blonde hair flopping over his face, was licking Hibari's lips as they kissed. One hand was in Hibari's hair, the other at his collar, fumbling with the buttons as Hibari's right hand tried half-heartedly to stop him. It wasn't having much success, considering Hibari had his other hand keeping Hibird in his pocket away from the scene.

"Mmnh.."

"Shh, Hibari. You'll wake little Tsuna up."

_I'm already awake! _Tsuna thought, horrified. He quickly turned around as Dino's lips moved down Hibari's neck into the unbuttoned shirt.

Tsuna buried his head in his arms for the second time that day.

_THAT'S IT, _he thought.

_I'm getting helicopters for everyone. Private jets. I don't care, as long as- ARGH!_

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**That concludes the last chapter~!**

**Haha that's the first shounen-ai/yaoi/romance scene I've written! O_o haha I'm an epic fail at uh these kinds of scenes ^^ Sorry Eclairee!**


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